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Best Ways to Propose

Jeff Jacobus

How, Where and When to Pop the Question!

Proposing – why does the mere thought of doing so send shivers down the spine of Men and Women, alike. Should it really strike fear into the hearts of the “young and in love”? The short answer: no. The Long answer: absolutely, certainly, postively not.

Whew. Now that you know that proposing isn't as terrifying as it's often purported to be, we can go on to look at some ways to approach it without becoming a nervous wreck and making your fiancé think that you're not ready to pop the question – and we wouldn't want that now, would we?

First, you need to acquaint yourself with your fiancé's inlaws... and your fiancé with your inlaws. Second, you need to know enough about your fiancé, so when the time comes to propose, you don't botch the proposal by giving them the wrong type of ring or whatnot.

Third, Propose at the right time – wait until both you and your fiancé are ready for the momentous occasion (you don't want to pop the question if either of you are under a lot of stress or have too much going on in your respective lives at that point in time).

Lastly, keep it simple and keep it fun. Before you even consider going down on bended knee and professing your love, you'll need to make sure that you've met your future in-laws. There's nothing worse and more potentially disasterous than pouring your heart and soul into proposing, and then discovering that your soon-to-be-in-laws can't stand you. Talk about a waste of time and a blow to your morale.

Getting to know the in-laws is as simple as spending a few hours at a small, intimate, informal dinner and/or get-together at your fiancé's parents house. This will show them that you're not only mature enough to take their dearly beloved's hand in marriage, but it will also ensure them that you're ready to assume the responsibility as a devoted husband/wife and embrace both families with open arms.

Marriage is not only a band that unifies two people, but also unifies two families. Let this not be mistaken, and everything will fall into place. I'm sure that you and your fiancé have spent a lot of time together and you know each other inside-and-out, but there's always the unlikely chance that your connection made because of a “love at first sight”, and you haven't spent much time together before decided to take the plunge.

If this is the case, then it's always wise to wait out the proposal a while longer until you've both gotten to know each other a little better. Usually, a year to two years is enough time spent together to “test the waters”, and also show how much integrity the relationship has and give you a bit of an indication on how long it will last for – hopefully until the “end of time”.

Also, over the course of a few years, longterm, post-marital plans can be mulled over – such as starting a family, your first home, getting to know your future in-laws better, so on and so forth. If both you and your fiancé are under a lot of stress by outside factors, then don't even entertain the notion of proposing.

You'll want to be both in harmony with yourself and your surroundings when the big day arrives. Even if you try and hide your stress, chances are that it'll manifest itself anyway, and your fiancé will want to hold off on anything serious and reconsider, or just flat-out tell you that it's not going to work out.

Keeping it simple, is, well... simple. You'll want to make it look as natural as possible, and the more elaborate the proposal is, the more it diminishes the sentiment. The setting for the proposal should be somewhere where you and your fiancé go to on a regular basis and both enjoy – this could be a favorite restaurant, a movie theater, at a park by the lake, or even at home.

Wherever you choose to “deliver the goods”, make sure that the surroundings are both familiar to you and your fiancé, and that they will set a confident, comfortable and agreeable mood. Proposing is not a living nightmare, afterall. If you just keep it simple and your heart is in the right place – sincerity is key – then everything should go off without a hitch. If the love, affection and devotion is mutually reciprocated, then the proposal should also come as second nature.

Putting too much effort into it will only make the end result look calculated and contrived, and this is the last thing that you would want. Afterall, you're [hopefully] going to be spending a lot of time with your loved one, so it's best that the proposal is a gesture of sincerity – nothing more and nothing less.